We’re Only Going to Die. . . Continued

In part two of the three part series focusing on the arrogance of Christians who assume the world should cater to their desires because they have Jesus on their side (while everyone else is just a terrorist or heathen), I would like to present the continuing controversy over a political cartoon by Pat Oliphant, a Pulitzer prize winning illustrator with the largest print media syndication in the world.

Letter to the Editor

The Washington Post

1150 15th Street, N.W.

Washington, DC 20071

Dear Editor:

I am writing in regards to your recent cartoon lampooning Pentecostals.

First, I am somewhat shocked at the paucity of judgment in running such a demeaning piece (not to mention the awful artwork). The crassness and lack of discretion shown in your cartoon reveals a surprising narrowness and ignorance of world realities by both the cartoonist and those who approved it. When I compare such with the intellectual perspicacity, the enduring utilitarian beauty, and the unparalleled literary skill of the writers of the New Testament (all of which were Pentecostal, Acts 1:8, 2:1-4) your newspaper comes out a sad and very distant second. (An example of such beauty is I Corinthians 13. Yes, it is written by a Pentecostal preacher and author).

Further, it is evident that someone at the Post may not know that 16% of the world’s population is Pentecostal (not just “Christian” but “Pentecostal Christians”). This is approximately 500 million people worldwide. Further, this number is expected to continue its exponential growth for decades to come. So impacting is this phenomenon that, several years ago, Time magazine estimated it may be one of the most impacting events in the last one thousand years.

The liberating power of Pentecostalism also has a direct impact on the political climate of the world. For example, China is being revolutionized from within by conversions to Christianity, much of which is Pentecostal. This emphasis on the value of the individual versus the state is literally readjusting the philosophical underpinnings of the world’s largest nation.

In the intellectual and spiritual Hall of Greats, Jesus I know. Paul I know, but I gently ask, who are you?

Respectfully,

Nathaniel J. Wilson, Ed.D

I hate to burst Dr. Wilson’s bubble, but his letter is not likely to sway anyone who has a basic understanding of logic. The primary reason this letter is ineffectual is it doesn’t actually contain any argument beyond “you insulted something I’m in favor of, therefore you are clearly stupid.” A proper argument would have to refute the central points of the editorial. In this case, that religious individuals believe they have a hotline to God (prayer), and that the Republican Party is badly in need of the religious vote, which has led them to market Palin as a woman and Christian rather than a competent government official.

Which part of the cartoon is incorrect? Have Pentecostals stopped speaking in tongues? Is Sarah Palin no longer Pentecostal{1}? Has the McCain/Palin campaign not been fairly upfront about the fact that they brought her in to get the religious vote? This is why Wilson’s argument is so shaky, not one aspect of the cartoon can be argued as untrue, only as rude.

When Wilson does attempt to use facts, he still doesn’t quite drive a point home. Here I am referring to the numbers stating that there are 500 million people (or 16% of the world population) who count themselves as members of the Pentecostal movement. This is a lie. Generally I would add some sort of disclaimer (i.e. likely to be a lie, or probably untrue) but it isn’t necessary here. That 16% of all people amounts to 500 million is just wrong. It isn’t even close. With a population of between 6.5 and 6.8 billion, 16% is something closer to 1.2 billion. This higher number would seem to strengthen Wilson’s argument about strength in numbers, were such an argument valid, but doesn’t in this case, because he fails to show why a political cartoonist or editor should care{2}.

The answer is they shouldn’t. Wilson gets caught up trying to sound smart, and fumbles{3}. Furthermore, the mention of Time magazine as credential to the veracity of his statement is absurd. I’m not saying that Time never ran a special on Pentecostals or their “movement,” though I should probably check if the percentages indicated in the same paragraph are any indication of how thoroughly this letter was fact-checked. Rather, I am attempting to point out that Time magazine publishes a lot of content every year, and inclusion in the magazine is not an indication of importance, relevance, or truth. In the last several years Time magazine has also written articles about such movements as gay rights, human rights in China (still waiting), and zero-tolerance weapons policies in schools (that went well).

However, I do find the very last sentence to be worthy of short discussion. The notion that a Pentecostal movement is “one of the most impacting events in the last one thousand years” could be fairly accurately described as absurd. High on the list you would probably find the Industrial Revolution, transition to a global economy, eradication of legalized slavery, cessation of colonization in non-Caucasian locales, and the invention of the gun{4}, but underground religious meetings in China are not likely to show up. Truthfully, I wonder if underground churches are even the most important development in China over the last 1,000 years. Capitalism anyone?

Similarly, when Wilson ranks the Bible as the most perceptive, useful, beautiful, and skillful text ever written, one is left to assume he has read very little other than his bible. A debate of various literatures’ merits would be a fabulous topic had I more time, but I think the point is made merely by offering every other holy book for your consideration. Don’t all religious individuals find their holy texts to be the most perceptive, useful, beautiful, and skillful? If not truthfully then at least in the same pandering way that they all congratulate each other (and themselves) for their fervent dedication to the cause and put plastic fish on the backs of their minivans {5}?

While most of Wilson’s letter is nothing more than an exercise in self-congratulation, the conclusion (just because the arguments don’t have one, doesn’t mean the letter itself can’t) is awe-inspiringly conceited. Leaving aside the fact that any “Hall of Greats” is bound to be a subjective exercise with very little importance to rational debate, Christian arrogance rears its ugly head as Jesus and Paul get mentions, while Socrates, Plato, Galileo, Ptolemy, Archimedes, Einstein, Da Vinci, and hundreds more get snubbed (I haven’t been so mad since Andre Dawson got left off the ballot … wait that was baseball’s Hall of Fame). Worse still, the Washington Post gets slapped with the old “I don’t even know who you are (despite the fact I am writing you this obnoxious, childish, mockery of a letter which strives so fully to show my intellect I have forgotten to say anything intelligent)” – bet that hurts. The editorial staff probably hasn’t been able to look themselves in the eye or sleep nights since this scathing piece of magniloquence arrived in their mailbox.

Go to Part 3

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1. Actually, the campaign has begun to shy away from this and refer to her as merely Christian, because Pentecostals are sometimes thought objectionable even by Evangelicals from whom McCain sorely needs support.

2. It should be noted that even if the Washington Post was willing to edit by committee and adjust their coverage to please the maximum number of readers, this argument would make little sense. At only 16%, keeping the population of Pentecostals happy would not be the most efficient way to sell newspapers. Additionally, “non-religious” individuals account for between 12 and 14 percent of the world population, making the Pentecostal number less impressive. Still good for a laugh though is Wilson’s insistence on using more words than are necessary which results in the sentence “Further, it is evident that someone at the Post may not know that 16% of the world’s population is Pentecostal.” Au Contraire, I would be willing to wager that multiple people at the Post don’t know that, not just one. Of course, it is clear that he means “no one,” but if that is the case he should have said “no one.”

3. In the same way that an unsolicited promise is almost never true, those who try hardest to be seen as intelligent are rarely such. In this case the tipoff is not only Wilson’s smug attitude (illustrated by asides such as “not to mention the awful artwork” and “yes, it is written by a Pentecostal preacher and author*”), but the fact that he insists on using words that don’t clarify his purpose. Rather, word choice such as “paucity” and “perspicacity” (maybe he only had the “p” section of his dictionary handy?) serves primarily to obfuscate his point by shrouding it in a cloak of pseudo-intellectual prose which may impress his fellow Pentecostals but leaves those of us who have received an education feeling annoyed at how he wastes our time writing a lot to say very little. In case all of this is not enough to show Dr. Wilson’s true colors, he includes his terminal degree abbreviation in his signature despite the fact his letter makes not a single argument which he would need expert status to support. (Pride goeth before the fall).

*A fact which I may not advertise since that is the passage everyone always groans and grits their teeth through during weddings. Generally the bride’s sorostitute friend reads it while holding a candle and wearing too much makeup:

“…If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…” (I Corinthians 13:3-8 NIV).

All of which causes one to wonder if perhaps some of the writing from the last 2,000 years might rival it. I may not have loved everything I read in English Literature Classics, but most of it didn’t make me groan or grind my teeth. None of which is to ignore the fact that I’ve seen a lot of junior high poetry written at about the same level. Granted those girls have the bible for reference and didn’t have to invent the entire style themselves (though even Paul had divine help from God) but I think the point still holds that there is other work available today that the Post might consider equally well written.

4. Much like Sarah Palin, this list was not vetted for accuracy and is not of the highest quality. I use it only as an indication of how many major events have shaped the world in 1,000 years. Even these may be trivial in the larger picture as they were chosen only because they immediately occurred to me.

5. Nothing sells like Jesus. Long ago proven to be the perfect packaging, it seems that Christians can’t get enough of the con. They buy fancy bibles, build fancy churches, put bumper stickers and adhesive fish on their cars, and dress in their nicest clothes to ensure they will look Christian enough to receive the admiration of their fellows and be spoken of in hushed voices which say things like “he just has such a heart for God.”